Fingus and the Great Out Doors

Iĺl never under stand it. The bedroom window is open, the back sliding glass door is open, thatś not good enough. She giveś me crap, head butting, whining and running around the feet when I try to walk. Finally, you give in, open the door to the driveway, she runś out. She can clear the fence from the ground, she can bounce straight up to the roof, but going out the only door thatś closed is it. Sheĺl come in through the bedroom window, but going out, itś gotta be the only closed egress...
The window, she knowś I hate it cold. When itś warm and itś open, she wont go in or out of it, but let it get cold, sheś doing the whole whiney thing, she wants it open. Fine, I open the thing so she can go out. Does she? No, she just sits there and looks out it, as soon as I´m doing something else, she slinks off into the bathroom where its warm, I might not notice, and she can nap while I shiver.
The same thing goes for water, in her dish, it´s got to be clean and fresh, every 4-6 hrs, not even her own cat hair in it, but outside, any nasty stale puddle is fine.
Whatś up with that?
Dry Food, as long as there´s plenty of it is no problem, but canned. It has to be a seafood flavor, the flavor must be changed at least every 48hrs. If you give her more than a tablespoon she won´t eat it and it will get dry, then she won´t eat out of that bowl. If itś a pate´ style twice is it, she wants the shredded type. She turns up her nose at every cat treat ever made, but will be a pest until she gets a bite of my sandwich. She wont touch Tuna, but if I dont drain the liquid into a bowl for her thereś hell to pay. She loves that crappy bagged cheddar flavored popcorn, but wont go near catnip. Any of those cheap cheese and cracker comboś are great, the Ritz Bitz with peanut butter are cool, but cat treats just arent happening.
Pizza boxes have to be weighted down, she can open them, and will eat off all the toppings leaving nothing but a dessicated crust. Anything Im eating at the desk, she considers worth investigating and wants a bite. Outside, if it moves in the yard, she will kill it and eat it, but put it in her dish, all of a sudden sheś finicky.
Iĺl never understand Felines or Females, and the combination drives me to drink, but at least the Felines dont wreck the car or sell the motorcycle.